Manipulation. Most of us cringe at the thought of it. But let's be honest most of us have also used it in one form or another to get what we want. Surely I've done my share of manipulation. We learn this skill set at an early age and although it doesn't feel good to some of us, to others its the game they live for. Why? Is it really that important to get what you want? Could there be one major component to what makes or breaks a manipulator? My belief is Yes.
We all know the people in our lives who just feel off in some way. Their intentions don't feel genuine or like they have our best interests at heart, even when they swear up and down that they do. Your whole system alerts you, your blood pulses, your eyes dilate and you feel like you're ready to battle. You stand up tall when in the presence of these people. Sometimes it will feel like an actual ball and chain on your spirit. It puts you on edge to say the least and if you are like myself, quite empathetic, you might even pick up on underlying intentions. If you aren't aware of this personality trait or it catches you off guard it can truly send you into a tailspin without you having the slightest idea what happened. This is the false sense of power that makes every manipulator smile from ear to ear.
Before going any further keep in mind this blog isn't intended to divide people by labeling but instead it's purpose is to open our hearts and eyes to the truth of why people manipulate. That can and will include ourselves. I could write yet another blog on manipulators and how to avoid them or spot them but I'm confident there are enough of them out there already. None of us are perfect, we all have good/bad, yin/yang, good/evil in us or however you choose to label it. And dividing us by labels doesn't really help anyone when we examine the big picture.
That being said, there is an underlying cause that drives manipulation and it's actually quite depressing when we strip it down to its core. There are a number of reasons why someone might try to manipulate a person, a situation or an outcome. Regardless of the reason, the core stems from a lack of faith in a loving power greater than oneself. A lack of Trust in the Universe, or whatever you choose to call it, is the reason we feel the need to manipulate. Quite simply a lack of Connection to the Divine.
What most don't realize is the method of manipulation is short lived and usually hurts others in the process. Eventually left once again with an emptiness that has nothing to do with the person or thing we thought we wanted in the first place. This creates a revolving door of insanity since the further disconnected we feel from a loving source energy, the more we feel an urge to make things happen in our time; hence manipulate. The motive behind it isn't done out of evil intent or being mean spirited for the most part; its done out of a loneliness we aren't able to fill with people and things outside of ourselves but keep trying to fill anyway. Manipulation is driven by a need to get what we want in the time that we want it and not being flexible enough to go with the flow of universal energy. It's a childish way to approach things, one that says only my needs are important. Maybe these people didn't have their needs met at a child, maybe they were never truly loved by their parents, maybe they just never outgrew their childish phase because family enabled that behavior or maybe they never had anyone to support them at all. Whatever the trauma was it created a personality trait that is only self serving.
So how do we heal ourselves from being a Manipulator? The remedy is quite simple. Connect with some kind of Divine Source and trust in its capabilities to support you. Easier said than done I'm aware. Healing from this kind of disconnect takes time, patience, vigilance and a whole lot of trust. It takes a life time of practice to sustain.
Most of us have been taught to distrust or fear the very messages we receive from energies outside of ourselves that don't come from a person, a smart phone or a television. Why? We must break free of the chains of distraction and get back to our true essence. Rediscover an ancient knowledge that we all carry within when we just allow ourselves to surrender and connect to Earth Magic. Sure there are plenty of religions to choose from but I'm not speaking of religion here. Instead I'm speaking of the simple ancient ways most of us have forgotten...
When we take the time to gaze up at the stars at night don't we feel humbled by the presence of so much space and infinite possibilities? When we allow ourselves to sit by the ocean and listen to the sound of the waves, with their natural ability to cleanse our hearts of any emotional baggage we might be carrying. When we feel the breeze of a windy day in our hair and on our skin blowing away all that doesn't really serve our highest good. Those moments when we sit right on the earth or walk around barefoot grounding our energy and feeling truly held and connected to Mother Earth. When we intuitively hold crystals in the palm of our hands and sense their loving energy and their beauty speaks to us. All of these natural healing techniques reconnect us to the Divine. Our power and love doesn't come from some made up god but instead from right beneath our feet. The foods you can smell, touch and taste, that is magic! How they grow from seedling to plant, is magic! Everything Mother Earth provides for us, every bit of our needs come from the womb of her. It's a simple magic everyone has chosen to overlook for belief in something we can't see, touch, taste or feel. I challenge you to see the magic of what's right in front of you! When we choose to redirect our energy towards connecting with ourselves and Earth Magic or The Divine we lose all motivation to force things to happen in our own time. We begin to trust the universe and its natural seasons. We understand that we are given exactly what we need exactly when we need it and all is in perfect order. We learn to Trust in a power so vast that we can't even begin to comprehend its purpose and intelligence but nonetheless acknowledge and respect it's presence.
Each and every one of us, depending on what our personal relationship is like with The Divine on any given day is capable of manipulation. Some a little more skilled and in fact further away from connection and some just fall short on days when they've forgotten who they really are. In truth, all of us just want a sense of belonging, of love and support. All we need is a little bit of compassion and healing for those who are still disconnected from a loving source. Without making yourself a target we can love from a distance and be an example of what's possible. So next time you run into a "manipulator" remember what that person really is seeking and ask yourself, am I seeking that too???