Updated: Sep 5, 2020
Are you looking to heal yourself on a deeper level? Perhaps you've done the meditation and yoga classes, seen a therapist or healer but something is still missing... If so then you've stumbled onto the right blog. But before I go any deeper into this subject I'd like to preface this blog by saying, brace yourselves, this isn't going to resonate with the status quo. In all it's glory my intent of this blog is to break the mold, shatter the current idea of what it means to heal yourself and give a whole new perspective or at least plant the seed to open the mind to a different way of thinking.
In order for us to get anywhere as far as healing ourselves is concerned we must first be willing to get honest. So let's do that by admitting to the fact that the way most of us go about our daily lives and healing ourselves right now quite simply isn't working. The majority of people are either self medicating with drugs/alcohol, taking prescribed medication, throwing themselves into work or other addictions, distracting themselves by care taking, being codependent, staying in toxic relationships, etc. all to not feel what's really going on in the moment. This cloud of denial that hovers over the planet is thick and doesn't discriminate. We see it in all facets of employment, age, gender and race. What exactly is going on? We ALL have things that need to be healed, just existing on this planet right now calls for healing. But the real question we need to be asking ourselves is why are we so afraid of our true selves? What lies beneath all that distraction and why does it terrify us? Enter- the shadow.
We live in a society that tells us being happy all the time is the answer. Stay grateful, make a gratitude list, don't focus on the "negative" etc, etc. And while I don't like to be the bearer of bad news that just isn't reality. Don't get me wrong staying grateful and happy about the things in our lives does have it's place without a doubt but right now addressing the shadow aspect of ourselves is even more crucial. How will we ever heal if we're denying any aspect of ourselves including the "negative" aspects? How will we ever feel free to be ourselves if any piece of us is disregarded and shamed?
For example: How many times have you felt sad about something and had someone ask you how you were doing, only to reply "I'm doing really great!" and having to force a huge smile on your face to make them believe you? How many times have you felt tears coming up and pushed them back down for a more convenient time? How many times have you told yourself that crying is weak? Being jealous is wrong? Feeling depressed is just too time consuming?
Now, honestly, how many of you felt that those feelings: sad, depressed, jealous, weak are all negative? If you said "me" welcome to the status quo. The only negative thing about those feelings is the fact most will not allow those "negative" feelings to come up and express themselves, fully. I'm going to encourage you to welcome those feelings into your reality and let them have their time to shine. Gasp* I know...but the next time you feel yourself getting jealous or envious of someone, allow yourself to go there completely. Allow yourself to ramble on about why its not fair, etc. The next time you are about to push your feelings aside for a more convenient time, stop yourself, excuse yourself, take a breather and allow them the space to rise. Everything will still be there when you're done, the world won't stop spinning but you might. The next time someone asks you how you're doing, answer them honestly. Just be true to your whole self.
This is how we begin to merge the dark and the light within. We allow it to be by simply recognizing that its not really bad, dark or negative. Those feelings are actually there to tell us something really important. Our job is to understand what they are trying to tell us. My experience has shown me that the "negative" feeling of Anger means my boundaries have been crossed and I didn't speak up for myself. Anxiety is that little voice throwing a temper tantrum because I'm not doing what I really want to be doing but instead I'm doing something I don't want to be doing. Depression has shown me that I'm tired of pretending to be someone I'm not, that it's time to take off the masks. Jealousy and envy has shown me what I really desire to have in my life. Disregarding my feelings has told me that I don't really feel important enough, my self worth is low. Guilt has shown me that I'm not ready to take full responsibility for my actions. And on and on...all of these feelings are there to guide us back to our soul's truth, not so negative when we see if from that perspective is it? It's part of our healing journey to decode these "dark" feelings and shine some light in there, love them back to health. They are truly blessings in disguise. We must embrace them if we are to truly heal and love ourselves completely.
Here are a few simple steps to Merge your Shadow- Step 1) Invite your shadow/darkness to come sit beside you and tell you everything, without censoring or holding back. You could even use a journal for this. Step 2) Don't judge these thoughts and feelings when they come up, just observe them. This is easier said than done and will take practice. Step 3) Once your shadow has exposed itself completely, thank it for existing. Yes I said thank it. Thank it for sharing itself completely with you and for it's messages.
Healing ourselves isn't something that happens overnight or in a week or at any specified time but instead has a natural unfolding that takes place. This unfolding is a process that brings more clarity and deeper awareness with each milestone we pass as we travel further into our healing journey. If we don't take the time to address the shadow feelings we push aside, healing will never truly occur. We will always be on this merry-go-round wondering why we still aren't happy even though we have everything we could of ever wanted in our lives.
We are all a beautiful combination of light and dark, (being a gemini, I'm well versed in this, haha) but if we deny any aspect of ourselves we will never reach a place of self acceptance, self love, self understanding or true happiness. Our battle is to recognize this in the midst of all the distraction and shed light on this truth through our actions with others and with ourselves. How do we heal? Do we practice integrity with ourselves and others? Do we allow others to be themselves in our presence without judgement? But most of all do we allow ourselves to BE without judgement?
If we want to rise above the cloud of darkness that is cast upon our planet at this time we have to be willing to walk through the shadows ourselves. If we want to gain personal freedom and feel 100% comfortable in our own skin we have to be willing to embrace every bit of who we are. And when we finally do, our healing journey won't feel like such a daunting process, we will invite the lessons in, we will be the Light AND the Dark in this world and finally be ONE with the universe and ourselves.